"Fortifying the Family" Series, Week Four: The Family Suffers Together

The seventeenth sunday after pentecost

Shepherd of the Hills Ev. Lutheran Church (WELS)

1 Peter 4:12-19

12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16 However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 And, “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” 19 So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. (NIV)

The newly-promoted manager shared the exciting news of her promotion with a close group of friend. Afterward, everyone shared her happiness and congratulated her on the achievement.  That is, everyone except the Debbie Downer in the group, who was quick to deflate the groups shared joy by pointing out all the added responsibility and the stress and the extra scrutiny that she’d be under as a result of the job promotion.  Few people can depress a group as quickly as those with the unique ability to find something negative in everything.  Most of us probably know a person or two who fits this description.  In fact, we probably even do our best to avoid them, as they have such a tendency to rain on other people’s parade.  This is the kind of person who doesn’t just tolerate gloomy or depressing news, but actually expects it.  They assume it’s a matter of time before something bad is going to happen, and if nothing does, then they manage to find it one way or another. 

The majority of people, though, aren’t like that.  Most of us don’t look for bad things to happen.  Most don’t assume that suffering and hardship are the norm, but rather the exception.  We don’t expect suffering to happen on a routine basis.  That’s why we can relate to the shock that Peter’s readers must have felt when they read his words, “Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (v.12).  Imagine their responses.  “You mean this is the new normal?  Suffering is going to be the status quo?”

For Peter’s first audience, the answer was yes.  One shudders to recall the horrible atrocities that were committed against Christians in the early years of the church.  As Christianity grew, so did hostility toward it.  Roman Emperors outlawed it and didn’t hesitate to persecute its followers with torture and death.  Although Christianity eventually received recognition as a legitimate religion, persecution would simply follow it as it spread around to another part of the world.  Whether the eastern religions saw it as a threat to their own, or the communists tried to eliminate it altogether as merely a foolish philosophy, suffering has followed the cross wherever it has gone.  For that reason, the cross is such a perfect symbol of Christianity. Not only does it first and foremost beckon us to consider Christ and his sacrifice, but by its very nature it is also a symbol of suffering, which Peter reminds us is our lot in life as Christians. 

As shocking as it must have been to hear Peter tell them not to be surprised, that was really only the tip of the iceberg.  It’s almost as if Peter was merely trying to soften the blow that was to follow.  Not only should his hearers not be surprised at the prospect of suffering, but they should take it a step further and… “rejoice” (v.13).  Being told by Peter to expect suffering is one thing, but it’s quite another to be told to rejoice at it.  But as we consider the verses before us this morning, we do in fact see sufficient cause for rejoicing in the face of suffering – even as families that suffer together.  Fortifying our families then is not about doing all we can to avoid the suffering that will inevitably come from God, but rather to grow in his grace to see the benefits of such suffering, and then to rejoice in it.

And let’s be clear about the kind of suffering Peter is addressing.  He is not referring to any and every inconvenience that arises in the life of the Christian.  In other words, your favorite television series being cancelled does not constitute suffering, neither does the closing of one of your favorite stores or restaurants, or your favorite team losing.  No, the kind of suffering to which Peter is referring is that which comes because of our connection to Christ and his cross.  It might be the backlash we receive sharing our Christian perspective on a social issue.  It could also be any kind of loss that is experienced that leads us to doubt, question, or second-guess Christ’s love for us and/or God’s gracious promises to us.  It might be the consternation that results from having to make a decision that brings about a conflict between worldly interests and the best interests of Christ’s kingdom.  These are some examples that would fit the description of suffering which Peter is addressing.

And he has the same thing to say about all of them: rejoice.  The first reason Peter gives is this: “But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (v.13).  In a way, Peter’s point follows a very popular technique used in advertising, the celebrity testimonial.  If you show a popular and well-liked celebrity using a certain product, people want to identify or relate to that celebrity, so they go out and buy that product.  As Christians who have been made new, having been brought from darkness into Christ’s light, God has rewired us so that Christ has top billing in our hearts.  As we then ponder the tremendous depth of Christ’s suffering and sacrifice by which he redeemed us, we don’t shy away from any suffering that in some way connects us with him.  He willingly suffered on our behalf, and we seek to imitate that same willingness to suffer for his sake, for it is such a clear – and very much needed – reminder that we do not identify with the world, but with the one who rescued us from it.

Really, Peter is echoing a concept that Paul also shared in Romans, where he wrote, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Romans 8:17).  As added incentive, Paul then immediately adds that our suffering here on earth cannot even begin to compare with the glory we’ll experience when finally home in heaven (Romans 8:18).  So in suffering we can rejoice, for it identifies us with Christ, and serves as a continual reminder of the glory that will come to us all because Christ suffered for us.

The family that suffers together can also rejoice in that suffering which comes in the form of insult.  Peter wrote, “If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you” (v.14).  The headlines for the past several weeks have been dominated by the violent protests by Muslims in multiple places throughout the world.  Why the extreme behavior?  Because supposedly they were insulted; insulted by a movie that belittled their prophet and their religion.  What a contrast from Peter’s words here!  Noticeably lacking is any call to arms or encouragement to immediately take action and right any wrong when insulted because of Christ.  Instead, Peter says to consider it a blessing!

Being insulted and ridiculed directly because of your faith is a blessing, because it serves as additional evidence of our relationship with Jesus.  It isn’t just a figment of our imagination or just a perceived relationship we have with Jesus if in fact others are actually taking notice and insulting us because of it.  That means they see and acknowledge us as followers of Jesus, as his disciples, or, as we see it, his precious children.  Such insult is no time to get even, but to rejoice, because it clearly indicates that “the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.” 

Peter points to a third way that we can reflect a joyful attitude in the face of suffering: “if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name” (v.16).  Admit it.  Deep down inside, at some point in your life, you were just a little bit ashamed of being a Christian.  Now here’s the thing: you may deny ever feeling ashamed, but without even thinking, you showed it.  You show it when you fail to speak up and defend others who come under fire for standing up for the right thing in the face of those who clearly prefer the wrong.  We show that we’re ashamed when we lament that our church “isn’t doing enough” because all we ever hear is the same stuff about Jesus and his cross over and over and over.  We show that we’re ashamed when we fail to invite others to join us for worship because “they wouldn’t like it” or “we’re too old-fashioned.”  In these cases, and others like them, we may not feel ashamed, but aren’t we really showing it?

And if so, what are we really saying but that we don’t need what Christ came to bring?  After all, to be ashamed of something is to want to be free of any association with it.  To want to be free of any connection with Christ is, by default, to be content with the association with and consequence of our sin.  For that reason Peter again turns us around and says do not be ashamed of our Christian faith in the face of suffering, “but praise God that you bear that name.”  Why?  Because to bear that name is to recognize that Christ’s blood even covered my shame and embarrassment at being associated with Christianity.  Time and again in our being ashamed, we bite the hand that feeds us every gracious blessing, but that hand comes back each and every time to extend another helping of grace and forgiveness.  Billions of people in this world right now don’t have the privilege of knowing that hand of grace.  You do.  Praise God that you bear the name Christian, and rejoice in it.

Furthermore, because you do bear that name, judgment, which will come for all people, will bring about a different outcome for you than for everyone else.  “For it is time for judgment to being with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, ‘If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” (v.17-18).  We are saved by a hair, as Luther said, for the only guarantee for salvation is faith in Jesus alone.  Every effort on the part of man without faith will fail.  It’s simple, yet to believe that faith alone in Jesus saves is such a hard truth to believe.  Having that knowledge provides a wake up call for us to guard our faith, and it also compels us to take the good news of Jesus to others, for Peter reminds us that our suffering here on earth pales in comparison to the suffering that will be experienced after judgment by those without Jesus.

To do that – to take the gospel to others – is just one of the ways we can apply Peter’s fourth method of rejoicing in the face of suffering: “So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good” (v.19.).  Show we rejoice even as we suffer by doing good and entrusting ourselves to our faithful God.  Because Christ dwells in you, your eyes are open to all the good you can do around you, even in the face of suffering.  You can commit yourself to your faithful God, while enduring suffering, and know that he won’t dessert you.  All the more reason to show him thanks by doing good, both as individuals and as families, even when the family suffers together. Amen.

“For the freer confidence is from one’s own works, and the more exclusively it is directed toward Christ alone, so much better is the Christian it makes.” (Luther)

“Fortifying the Family” Series, Week Three: When Marriage Gets Tough

The sixteenth sunday after pentecost

Shepherd of the Hills Ev. Lutheran Church (WELS)

Mark 10:2-12

2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied. 4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” 5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” (NIV)

You have been assigned to a debate.  The issue up for debate is whether or not Americans are lazy.  On which side of the debate would you prefer to stand?  I suppose it depends on how one defines “lazy” and what evidence would be used to back it up.  It could be pointed out that the United States is the fattest nation in the world, ranking number one in obesity.  That might possibly draw conclusions that we’re lazy.  However, we work long hours and don’t get the several weeks of paid vacations that are the norm in other countries, and retire at a later age than many other developed countries, so maybe we’re not that lazy.  But then if you compare the 180 day school year in the United States with the 243 days of school that a student attends in Japan, maybe we’re not instilling as much of a work-ethic as we could be.  There’s more than enough room for a healthy debate about whether or not we’re lazy in a lot of areas, but one area in which we seem to be lazy – to be less and less willing to do the work – is in marriage.

I suppose I could quote a number of statistics at this point, but when it comes to marriage and divorce, statistics are very difficult field from which to extract any meaningful data.  The way statistics are recorded varies from state to state.  And, you’ve probably heard that half of all marriages end in divorce, but that technically isn’t what statistics say (a better way to say it would be that for every two marriages, there is one divorce; a subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless).  It is even harder to determine useable information today because fewer people are getting married, and fewer people are getting divorced.  More and more are cohabitating, so statistics in this area can easily be misconstrued. 

Better than considering statistics, simply look at how many divorced people you know.  Consider how many children have to split between time spent with mom and time spent with dad, depending on various custody arrangements.  You might also recall in days past when getting a divorce was taboo.  It doesn’t carry the same stigma today, does it, and a large part of that may be due to the fact that it is so much more common.  When we hear of celebrities getting married, almost immediately we want to place bets on how many months or years it will last.  While there are certainly legitimate causes for divorce, and divorce definitely takes its toll on those involved, too often divorce is perceived as an easy out when marriage gets tough.  This morning, as we continue Fortifying the Family, we want to consider the words of Jesus on marriage, and apply those words When Marriage Gets Tough.

It isn’t too difficult to figure it out why the Pharisees approached Jesus on the topic of marriage.  Mark clues us in by telling us they had ulterior motives in approaching him.  “Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” (v.2).  These men were not distraught over losing their wives or displeasing God by divorce; the only thing they ever cared about was saving face and looking good for everyone else.  So in order to make themselves look better, they sought to make Jesus look worse.  They hoped to trap him so that if he responded to their question one way, he would be disagreeing with Moses, and if he responded the other way, he would be disagreeing with God.  But Jesus’ response would show them that Moses and God did not have opposing views on marriage and divorce.

The Pharisees didn’t have honest intentions regarding marriage; they weren’t coming to Jesus to save a marriage that appeared to be falling apart.  But perhaps you feel that would be an accurate description for your marriage – one that is “falling apart.”  It’s possible that the word “divorce” hasn’t yet made its way into the picture, but still you may feel like all is not well.  Some husbands and wives are hurting.  There’s tension.  There’s frustration.  Little disagreements tend to blow up into destructive arguments.  There’s not enough money.  There’s no communication.  Pillows are drenched with tears at night.  Different sleeping arrangements are made.  The marriage is going in a direction you never imagined was even possible.

Or for some here, or others that you know, it’s worse than that.  Divorce has been discussed or threatened.  Not just different sleeping arrangements, but different living arrangements have been considered.  Counseling efforts have been exhausted.  Repairing the broken marriage seems impossible, and the only thing that matters now is discussing the best possible custody agreement for the kids.  When it comes to love for one another, that well appears to be empty.  The point of no return has been reached, and divorce seems imminent.

When we reach that point – if anyone here today is at that point – then we need to pick apart what Satan is selling: that divorce is the best option, or even any option at all.  Simply put, that notion is a lie, it is a mess, and it is a sin.  To believe that divorce is a preferred option in cases where no biblical grounds for divorce exist is just a lie.  Should that surprise us coming from the father of lies himself?  In Eden he convinced Adam and Eve that they’d be better off by eating the fruit – a flat out lie.  Today he smells the despair and the discontentment in a marriage from a mile away and tries to sell the same lie that you’d be better off just getting a divorce.  But, just as in Eden, so today, don’t buy what Satan’s selling: it’s a lie.

And it’s a mess.  While there are certainly some divorces that have gone better than others, even a relatively “smooth” divorce is not what God had in mind for marriage or the family.  If money disagreements were a leading contribution to the divorce, rest assured that won’t get any better as each side tries to part with a bigger piece of the pie.  Even just hearing the term “ex-wife” or “ex-husband” typically conjures negative thoughts, because that’s what we’re most often used to hearing about “exes.”  And while children may be resilient and be able to get through it, they won’t do so unscathed.  Whether there are trust issues, or an underlying guilt over whose fault the divorce was, or even cases when the child is able to manipulate each parent into a bidding war for his affection, divorce leaves a mess behind. 

The reason divorce leaves a mess behind is because that’s what sin always does.  Just to be clear, aside from the only two scriptural bases for divorce – adultery or desertion – getting a divorce is always a sin.  Society might tell us otherwise. Our friends might not agree.  Our own consciences may not see it that way.  But that is always how God sees divorce: as sin.  It takes what he designed and tramples on it.  It puts self above God’s will, which is always what sin does.  So just like any other sin, apart from repentance, apart from confession, the sin of divorce is every bit as condemning.  Divorce is a lie, it is a mess, and it is a sin. 

So it doesn’t really matter what issues arise that lead a couple to consider divorce an option, it is always sin that ends up breaking apart a marriage; it is always sin that causes divorce. What then is the solution to avoiding divorce?  If sin is the cause, then forgiveness is the solution.  It is always being able to apply forgiveness to any and every wrong within a marriage.  If sin is what breaks a marriage apart – and it always is, in every case – then only forgiveness can put a marriage back together.  Only forgiveness for husbands and wives who have cut each other so deeply, who have absolutely shattered their marriage vows to one another.  Only forgiveness can stop the train from jumping track and derailing into the horrible pile-up of divorce.  More than likely it will take patience.  It will probably take time.  But it will always take forgiveness to mend any mangled marriage.

Jesus died to pay for the sins that stain a marriage.  He died to pay for the sins that stain your marriage and mine.  Jesus was well aware that if there were ever going to be any problems with marriage, it wouldn’t be because of some design flaw on God’s part, but because of the flaws of sin on the part of husbands and wives.  Yes, Jesus died to save your marriage, because you cannot on your own.  It can only be saved through the forgiveness that only Jesus has earned.  But he gives that forgiveness freely to each of us, and invites us to do the same to others, even when our spouse may have crushed us with devastating words and actions.  That is when forgiveness is needed most.  And we have it.  We need only to apply it to one another.

As we do, we find a renewed interest in Jesus’ teaching on marriage to those who tried to trap him.  We look to Jesus’ words and see four points that provide encouragement for husbands and wives to remain committed to their marriages.  Jesus said, “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (v.6-9). 

First, your marriage is worth fighting for because God created both you and marriage.  Marriage comes from God.  It is good.  It pleases him.  He blesses it and wants to continue blessing it, so it is worth the work. Second, God saw marriage as such a priority that it is designed to have a permanent impact on all of your relationships.  As we grow up, no relationship on earth is more precious to us than that which we share with our parents.  But at marriage, our relationship with our spouse replaces that relationship with our parents as our greatest priority and most precious relationship.  Such an arrangement is not one that ought to be quickly cast aside in divorce.  Third, in marriage the two become one flesh.  In other words, one plus one equals one.  When you are joined to each other in marriage, that is a bond which God intended nothing and no one else to break, but death alone.  Have you ever taken a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and tried to separate the peanut butter from the jelly after they’ve already been spread on together?  It can’t be done cleanly.  Neither can a marriage in which the two have become one be separated cleanly. Fourth, your spouse wasn’t just a random interchangeable part with whom anyone could have been matched; rather, it was God who joined you two together in marriage.  If God brings two people together in marriage, is it our place to turn around and claim to know better by ending the marriage in divorce?  Certainly not…

Not even when your marriage gets tough, which it will.  It’s not if, but when.  Your marriage will get tough.  See to it that you know what to do when you start to hear the turbulent waters approaching.  If you’ve ever gone white-water rafting, you know that you want to go when the water level of a river isn’t too high.  If the water is too high, then there will be no rapids and the adventure will be pretty lackluster.  But when the water level is low, then the rocks and rapids present an adrenaline-laced adventure.

But in your marriage it’s the other way around.  When you are experiencing the strong currents and the rushing rapids that seek to dash your marriage against the rocks or pull you under the water, it very well might be because the level of living water in your marriage is too low.  It needs to be raised to carry you above the logs and rocks and dangerous undercurrents.  Raise the level of living water in your marriage through Word and sacrament.  Chances are, when marriage gets tough, there’s likely a lack of that living water that only Jesus can provide.  Let the cool and refreshing waters of his forgiveness flood your marriage, and he’ll carry you through the rapids and raise you above them.  With Jesus as our greatest treasure in marriage, that’s how we fortify our families, even when marriage gets tough. Amen.

“For the freer confidence is from one’s own works, and the more exclusively it is directed toward Christ alone, so much better is the Christian it makes.” (Luther)

“Fortifying the Family” Series, Week Two: Passing it on as Parents

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The fifteenth sunday after pentecost

Shepherd of the Hills Ev. Lutheran Church (WELS)

Deuteronomy 4:1,2,6-9

Now, Israel, hear the decrees and laws I am about to teach you. Follow them so that you may live and may go in and take possession of the land the Lord, the God of your ancestors, is giving you. ² Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord your God that I give you.⁶ Observe them carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, “Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.” ⁷ What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the Lord our God is near us whenever we pray to him? ⁸ And what other nation is so great as to have such righteous decrees and laws as this body of laws I am setting before you today? ⁹ Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. (NIV)

It’s no secret how casinos make so much money: they simply offer games in which the odds are heavily in their favor.  Yet even though the average person walking into a casino is much more likely to walk out with less money than when he walked in, people – lots of people – still go, don’t they?  Most rational thinking goes out the window as the gambler entertains the possibility of what could be.  So a person hoping to make money in a casino tries to turn things in his favor by playing the odds against the casino.  Maybe he plays poker because he reasons that he doesn’t compete against the house, but against other players, so if he is more skilled than they are in the game, his chances of winning are better.  Or he counts cards in blackjack to improve his odds.  Or he reasons that certain bets at the craps table give him the best chance at walking out of the casino with money. 

Now all of these strategies may prove true.  Certain games and certain strategies may present a person with a little bit better odds.  However, the odds still remain in the casino’s favor, don’t they?  There’s always a chance being taken; always a risk.  It isn’t a matter of finding a game where the odds are actually in your favor – no casino would sensibly offer such a game.  No, the odds are in their favor so that you’re the one taking the risk.  As much as a person thinks he’s increasing his chances at winning, the reality is that all he’s doing is decreasing his chances of losing as much. So how much sense does it really make for a person to think he’s going to win at gambling?  Any way you look at it, it is always a risk to gamble.

Yet we do it as parents, don’t we?  We knowingly gamble with our children’s spiritual welfare.  We know that the best chance our children have at winning spiritually is through a steady diet of the Word.  That’s not up for debate or negotiation.  So why do we take a chance, why do we take such risks by being OK with the Word having a limited place in our children’s lives?  No, there is no page in Scripture that demands that an education in a Christian elementary or high school, or daily devotions, or weekly worship, or personal Bible study are all necessary for heaven.  But with the odds so stacked so heavily against us and in Satan’s favor, why would we not do everything possible to level the playing field, or to give our children an advantage?  Why would we not devour every opportunity possible for ourselves and for our children?  Why would we be willing to take such a big gamble?

No, there’s no guarantee that a person can’t fall away; that’s always a possibility.  Yet, does that make it reasonable to conclude that because there’s no such guarantee, that we don’t want to give our children the best shot they can possibly have by being in and remaining in the Lord?  Of course not.  The patient who’s just been diagnosed with cancer is provided with a number of options for treatment, even though his doctor says there is not guarantee that any of them will work.  Will that patient say no thanks to surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, or any other possible treatment simply on the basis that there’s no guarantee that they’ll work?  Of course not!  Most people wouldn’t think twice about trying every single possible treatment available, if there’s a chance it might help. 

Well guess what?  There’s more than a chance that things like Sunday school and the Sacrament, Bible study and CLHS, MLS, or LPS will prove beneficial, because the Word is always beneficial.  We’re not ashamed of it, for as Paul said, “it is the power of God for the salvation of all who believe” (Romans 1:16).  Increasing your odds at gambling might work.  Cancer treatment can work.  But God’s Word always works.

Parents, in order to pass it on, that Word must first do its work on you.  One of the most often overlooked needs that you have in parenting your children is your own spiritual health.  It starts with you.  If we are going to be committed to Passing it on as Parents in order to fortify our families, then it must start with mom and dad.  Parents, listen carefully: you cannot fill your child’s cup from an empty pitcher.  Your pitcher must first be filled and remain filled constantly in order for you to be able to pour out anything of substance to your children. 

Skim briefly through the words from Deuteronomy once again and note the number of ways that parents can fill up their pitchers:  “Hear… Follow… Do not add… do not subtract… keep… Observe…be careful… watch.”  “Hear” God’s Word, not the way we have the game or talk show on in the back ground when trying to multi-task, but hear it the way you hear the exciting news from your out-of-breath ecstatic child who cannot wait to share something big with mom or dad.  “Follow” God’s laws and decrees, not the way you casually follow a blogger or the occasional Tweet from someone, but the way you follow a guiding light in otherwise pitch black darkness, not stepping to one side or the other, but with supreme focus.  “Do not add/subtract” from God’s commands, for he wants to be sure your pitcher is filled up with the content of his Word, not the concoction of your own thoughts or opinions.  “Be careful” with God’s Word, not ever overestimating that your pitcher is filled to the brim, when in reality it may be running on empty.

Did you catch what God promised to his chosen people if they showed such regard for his Word?  He said, “Follow them so that you may live and may go in and take possession of the land that the LORD, the God of your fathers is giving you” (v.1).  Is that to say that if the Israelites had not obeyed, that God would never have given them the promised land?  In a sense, yes.  Remember that God had established his two-way covenant with his special people.  So long as they remained faithful to God and his commands, God would remain faithful to them and bless them.  For even though God did deliver them into the promised land, we ultimately know from history what resulted when they blatantly disregarded his will for them: they were ripped out of the promised land and taken away into captivity.  In addition, if they had kept God’s commands faithfully, they never would have intermarried and given into idolatry after being influenced by the surrounding nations.  So God held out the promise of richly blessed lives in the promised land if they had kept his Word close to their hearts.

God promises his blessings to those who today keep his Word close to their hearts. Those blessings stem from the forgiveness won for us by Jesus.  Failing our children and broken promises; destructive addictions and deceptive lies; greed, lust, and all the other sins that fill us with guilt and regret – they all meet their match at the cross, where they’ve all been paid for in full.  Lives close to God’s Word are close to his forgiveness, and the blessing of peace naturally follows.  Lives close to God’s Word are filled with love from God and love for God.  Lives close to God’s Word are close to God, and a personal relationship with God through Christ means incomparable blessings that just can’t be discovered apart from him.

The added benefit in this order of things is that as they see God’s blessings in their lives that flow from hearing, following, keeping, observing, etc. God’s Word, then parents will be all the more likely to want to pass those blessings on to the next generation, which is exactly what we’re called to do.  About all the things that God had done for his people in the past, Moses encouraged parents, “Teach them to your children and to their children after them” (v.9b).  Remind children of how God graciously established the people of Israel through Abraham and the patriarchs.  Tell them of how God blessed both his own people and other nations through Joseph’s leadership in Egypt.  Don’t let them forget how bad things had gotten in Egypt, and that the LORD God had delivered them from it all and ushered his people into the promised land.

Parents, God’s exhortation to you is no different today.  Teach your children what he’s done.  Yes, that includes Old Testament history as well as new.  It includes the stories of patience and compassion that characterize God’s treatment of his people throughout history.  But it also includes what God has done for us personally through Jesus Christ.  In fact, more than anything else, the message of Jesus is what we are to pass on as parents.  We teach our children about his suffering and about his cross.  We teach our children about the Resurrection and Jesus’ rule in heaven for our good.  We teach about how Jesus connected our children to all of that through their baptism.  We teach our children to look forward to and to yearn for the Lord’s Supper.  We teach our children that all the Christian’s life is one of willing and compassionate service for others.  We teach our children that in Christ, life cannot be better.

We teach them by living it.  Let them see it.  We teach them by letting them see how important these things are to us as we take seriously Jesus’ invitation to worship him every week.  We teach them by letting them see mom and dad reading the Bible and praying.  We teach them by letting them see examples of selfless service in their parents. We teach them by living it.

And we teach them by telling it.  Let them hear it.  We teach them by letting them hear from our lips of God’s grace and forgiveness for them.  We teach them by letting them hear us confess our wrongs to others and pronounce forgiveness when wronged ourselves.  We teach them by letting them hear our ongoing encouragement for them always to keep their faith at the forefront of lives responsibilities. We teach them by letting them hear of Jesus’ love for them and his promise of eternal life for all who are faithful to the point of death.  We teach them by telling it.

If we are to fortify our families by passing it on as parents, then this is not the place to gamble.  Your child’s eternity is absolutely  not worth the risk. Fill your own heart and soul with Jesus and his life and death for you, then you’ll have something to teach your children.  Then you’ll have exactly what you need to pass it on as parents: Jesus.  Amen.

“For the freer confidence is from one’s own works, and the more exclusively it is directed toward Christ alone, so much better is the Christian it makes.” (Luther)

“Fortifying the Family” Series, Week One: Modeling Marriage after Christ

The fourteenth sunday after pentecost

Shepherd of the Hills Ev. Lutheran Church (WELS)

Ephesians 5:21-31

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (NIV)

Better or worse?  Those are the only two options you are allowed in choosing how to respond to this question: How would you compare our society today, in 2012, with society 10 years ago?  25 years ago?  40 years ago?  The question has no political bent to it; it isn’t about republicans or democrats or which direction the government is going.  It is instead intended to lead us to stop and give thought to our general development as a society.  Today many are comfortable with abortion as a viable option for a pregnant mother.  Speaking of pregnancy, today many have much less of a problem with unmarried teenagers not just having sex, but having babies.  Today many have no issue whatsoever with the practice of euthanasia on any number of levels.  Today many parents are more concerned with befriending their children than they are raising or disciplining them. 

The question is, if you answered “worse” to the previous question, what do you think is the root cause? While there are without a doubt all kinds of factors that contribute to the realities just mentioned, one of those contributing factors is most certainly the continuing breakdown of the family.  We don’t want to oversimplify things and pretend that family is the only cause, but we also don’t want to overlook the deterioration of family and pretend that it has nothing to do with the downward spiral of our society.  The general sentiment has been expressed before: as the family goes, so goes society/the nation/civilization/the economy.  What we do and how we act as a society is a product of what we do and how we act as families.

If that’s true, and it would seem that history would support it, then we as Christians need to take a hard look at our own families and what we’re doing – or not doing – to stabilize and strengthen our families.  At every turn we see Satan desperately trying to rip families apart in countless ways.  We can disagree as to whether his tactics are subtle and sneaky or brazen and bold; but we cannot disagree that he is good at it.

But as good as he is, if you believe that God is better at binding families together than Satan is at prying them apart, then I pray that God will bless our efforts over the next five weeks as we look to him to help us in Fortifying the Family.  Think of the number of different ways God could have established the reproduction and development of human beings.  He could have followed any number of different models in the animal kingdom or insect world.  But he didn’t.  Instead, his unique and special design for the human race has always been the family.  Furthermore, his unique and special design has always been that families should be established through marriage.  So if we are to build up our homes and fortify our families, we need to start first with marriage.  And how do we do that?  We model our marriages after Christ.

That’s certainly the plan Paul laid out in his letter to the Ephesians.  In fact, he spends as much time talking about the role of Christ and his Church as he does husband and wife, and he relates the two topics together beautifully.  Let us explore this relationship further, so that as the Spirit strengthens our understanding and appreciation of all that Christ has done for his bride, the Church (i.e. all believers), we will also come away with a clearer picture of how that intimate relationship pertains to marriage.

Paul sets the tone for marriage with the words, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (v.21).  First things first: we have to get out of our heads this cultural idea that “submit” is a bad word.  It isn’t.  In fact, we see one individual or group submit to another all around us.  Consider the superstar athlete who is convinced he knows what needs to be done to win, so he takes matters into his own hands to get it done.  More often than not, he and his team only come out on the losing end.  Then, when he finally submits to his coach and follows his direction, he and the team succeed.  Our current and veteran servicemen and women know that every branch of the military is based on hierarchy and each rank submits to the rank above.  You go to work, and whether or not you are consciously aware of it, you submit to your manager or boss, and things run smoothly in the workplace.  Even on the drive to work, you maintain a reasonable speed on the highway, because you are submitting to the governing authorities and acknowledging that laws are in place for the good of the people.  Indeed, we and others are not at all strangers to this idea of putting ourselves beneath someone else – we do it all the time.

Furthermore, we especially understand the concept to a greater degree as Christians.  Humility is to be an essential characteristic of Christians, and what is humility but putting yourself beneath others, or in other words, submitting to them?  That’s what Paul had in mind in another of his letters he wrote to the Philippians: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3,4).  

           

So it isn’t shocking when God’s word to wives is this: submit to your husbands.  Again, because we have our society and culture to thank for making women cringe at hearing those words from God, we must clarify what it does not mean for a wife to submit to her husband.  It does not mean that she is inferior or less significant.  That notion finds no basis whatsoever in Scripture; it is rather a product of our hyper sensitive culture.  Christ placed just as high a value on the souls of women as he did men, since his blood covered both totally and completely.  Neither does submitting to one’s husband mean that a wife has no opinion, that her place is in the home cooking and cleaning, or that she can’t have a job.  To assume any of these outright is to misunderstand God’s designed role for the wife in marriage.

What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband?  Notice that the manner in which you wives are called to submit is “as you do to the Lord” (v.22).  Wives, think about your relationship with Jesus.  What kinds of words would you use to describe your relationship with him?  Is Christ not your greatest love?  Don’t you serve him willingly and joyfully? Will you not bend over backward to show that Jesus is a priority in your life in every situation?  Do you ever question that he has your best interests in mind?  Doesn’t being connected to him bring you peace?  Think of how you faithfully live in him and love him in so many ways.  Now, simply do the same for your husband.

Why?  Because “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior” (v.23).  God’s design for the husband/wife in marriage is that the husband would serve as the godly head, or leader, and the wife would support him in that role.  Yet both roles are important.  Consider the relationship in baseball between the pitcher and the catcher.  While the pitcher is the one who generally receives all the credit and acclaim, a pitcher recognizes that his success is largely dependent upon the support of his catcher.  The catcher knows each batter and helps the pitcher determine which pitch to throw via signals.  Which player is more important?  They both are, yet finally it is the pitcher who is ultimately responsible for striking the batter out.  Nevertheless, the catcher plays a vital role in helping him carry out that goal.

Believe it or not, God actually thought things through when establishing this special role for wives, for he gave them the perfect example of how blessing comes to the marriage in which the wife graciously submits to her husband, the Church.  Through Paul, God said,  “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (v.24).  The church doesn’t see being guided and directed by Jesus as unfair.  She doesn’t balk at abiding by the Savior’s will.  She lovingly serves the One who served her.  The church willingly, joyfully, faithfully, and fully submits to Jesus in all things.  God’s word to wives is that he promises to bless the marriage in which she willingly allows her husband to guide the ship, as Christ does his church.  In the end, her selfless submission to her husband is ultimately recognized as selfless service to her Savior.

Just as God has a word for wives in modeling marriage after Christ, so he also has help for husbands.  Husbands, love your wives.  What does it not mean to love your wife?  It doesn’t mean working yourself to death so that you can provide her with the money to buy happiness that she can’t otherwise find in her relationship with you.  It doesn’t mean that every bouquet of flowers or empty recitation of the words “I love you” magically convey love (though resorting to both more frequently [minus the “empty” recitation] wouldn’t probably be frowned upon by your wife!).  Loving your wife is not just rushing to give a “yes” to anything she wants, when all she really wants is for you to listen to her for a bit.  Loving your wife is not making sure that you occasionally take a break from putting yourself first so that you can put her first.

On the contrary, loving your wife is putting her first all the time, “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (v.25).  Husbands, do you want to know the secret to loving your wife to the fullest?  Never tire of looking at Christ’s love for you.  Never tire of leading your wife and family to do the same.  Leading them to Christ’s love is the single greatest act of love you can show them.  It starts with you being truly drawn in by Christ’s forgiveness to you and in response stepping up and leading as a godly husband and father, leading in love – leading in Christ’s love.  Giving of yourself for your wife and putting her before yourself is second-nature when you set Christ and his love for you as your number one priority in this life.

If both husband and wife are honest about their spousal sin and shortcomings, then looking to Christ comes naturally, because both husband and wife fail each other on a regular basis.  Unsupportive and disrespectful wives are a sinful shame to their husbands and to God, just as unloving and uncaring husbands are a sinful shame to their wives and to God.  So both need to see again and again how the perfect husband, Christ, treated his bride, the Church.  He “loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (v.25-27).  Husbands and wives, if the Church has been cleansed and washed, made radiant and holy – and indeed it has, as your baptism assures you – then the same can be said of your marriage.  Its stains have been removed.  Your sins as husband and as wife have all been removed and your marriage is made new through Christ.

Husbands and wives, to receive blessing upon blessing in your marriage as you model it after Christ is not just to imitate Christ’s relationship with his bride, the Church, but first and foremost to apply its effects to your marriage.  When you fail each other and Christ, apply his forgiveness to each other in your marriage, and do it frequently.  Have you ever actually spoken the words “I forgive you” to your spouse after hearing an admittance of guilt or sin?  They are the words Christ spoke to you at Calvary, the words he spoke to you at your baptism, and the words he speaks to you through Holy Communion.  Model your marriage after Christ, then, and speak them to one another as well. Loving and submitting to each other is a natural step for the husband and wife who apply Christ’s forgiveness to each other and blanket their marriage with it. Amen.

“For the freer confidence is from one’s own works, and the more exclusively it is directed toward Christ alone, so much better is the Christian it makes.” (Luther)